Do not give up

Are going through something that is hurting you a hell in the heart?

All of us have really bad times, and after those there comes the worse ones. Happy times are really rare in the commons. And so what, happiness is decision, have you ever thought about ending your life? I have, I am not proud of it but not ashamed either, I did not do it (as you can notice I am writing now). 

If you you are thinking about it, stop, breath and think there is always one important person there, you. I stop trusting God or friends or family, they will not be there forever to stop you. You are the only one that can stop it. 

Life is hard, unfortunately. But fortunately you have yourself. There is always a way to move forward.

Forget and forgive past, you cannot change it and if you can then change it, nothing to regret nothing to be anchor there. 

Live today, it will never come back and if it does it will be different, do not miss a thing today, there is sun or rain, day or night, moon or stars, maybe you are one of the lucky ones and have the one you love next to you, or you are like me all alone after you loved someone, but it is fine as well enjoy today there should be something look for it.

Tomorrow will come do not rush to it wait for it peacefully

And overall be yourself no one else can be you, you are important and special

My last day?

Have you ever asked yourself, what if today is your last day?

I just did (first timer), and then realized that could be true, it can be my last day. I have several things that I could regret but decide not to, instead I will forgive me. There are mistakes that were done and so what, all of us make mistakes, instead I asked life for a new opportunity to amend them (I hope this opportunity comes). There is a lot of people who made painful things and hurt me, so what, I decided I will forgive him. Everybody make mistakes, obviously their mistakes made me live a hell of a life but I have a hell of a life to others every once in a while. I decided not to be holding rancor against anyone. Today may be my last day and I do not want this burden in my life. 

Life is life, we fall so we need to stand up again, we hurt others so we need to help them heal. We had been hurt so we need to heal ourselves. So what you have to do to be happy, forgive all to be happy, forget all to be happy. 

Happiness is a decision that you need to take, past is where it needs to be in the past, you learned from it and let it go, tomorrow may never come, stop worrying about it. Today is a gift given to us to enjoy it, say what you need to say. Do what you need to do. Forgive all, forget all and be yourself.

Remember today may be your last day on earth.

Search

It is so difficult to be without my inspiration. I know she is there, but do not find the way to open the door to she.

I had attempted some ideas but it seems as if this door has an special lock on it. I have tried some silly ways to get to her. This door is harder to open than I thought, and will try all the keys I may know.

I may not be able to open it and then i get to this idea. If cannot be opened, I will force my way in.

I miss her

Loneliness

Is hard to write when your inspiration is gone, sometimes is just away for a while and you know for sure that it will be back. Some other times you know is away but you are not sure if it ever will come back. And the hardest ones are they are gone and you need to search for new inspiration.

I am going though the second group, my inspiration is gone and I do not know if I will share any other moment with her. I feel empty and alone. I am just doing things because I have to, there is no light in my eyes anymore. Neither hope on my heart nor my soul.

I do not know how to recover her back, I do not understand how is possible for some individuals to just let go of this special feelings. I go to bed thinking about her, I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about her interrupting a dream about her. 

My heart aches, tears run over my face, I feel destroyed, I feel shattered. 

I miss her and all I know is that this loneliness is killing me

Dark

I can feel the wind caressing my face, running around me, dancing an unheard song, hating me, loving me; saying hi or maybe goodbye.

Night had fall, the sun went to visit others, but is without him that I can truly see. Creatures from the night recognize my name, a name forgotten long time ago by the creatures of light.

Traitor I had been called, hero in other times, villain, lover, hater and many other names by those of the light. They had forgotten my name, my power and the truly origin of myself.

Older than any of the creatures, one of the original souls, existing just to be. Now, I am here carrying a burden of others while hiding my face from the creatures of night, as a coward, as a useless pawn; but, I am a king, one of the three. There was she, pure love, kindness and hope. There was he, pure hate and despair. There was me, none of them and all of them.

During the day lying them all, lying myself. Living a normal life because I forgot who I am, then night comes and the nights remind me that I am just me, but me is more than any other. I am a king, I am me and no one else can be.

Then dark comes and I remember who I am. I am a king. I am me. “Just” me.

All when dark comes.